Entries for April, 2007

last blog entry.. was a year ago pa. at naka-ilang laban na si manny pacquiao. hahaha. stupid. and lazy.

actually, ive changed blog. multiply na kasi ako. so most of my entries and adventures are all there. for contacts nga lang.

i decided to check up on my tabulas.... because. just because. i dont know really. i missed it, mebeh. or not. i dont know. i dont know nga eh. wag mo ko kulitin!!! UGH.

grace gone crazy. once again. fools like me should be stoned to death. yung precious stones ah. para bongga.

lately im addicted to ...nothing. how cool is that? nyahahaha. im gaggling over nothing. another cool thing. and stupid.

SHYET. im not making any sense. i think il take some tonight.

{ music } i tell myself
{ mood } off

Written by hotchiqqa at 04:54 PM. Filed under Self-Musing, Twisted Minds.

2 justified.

I won't mistake you for problems with me
I won't let my moods ruin this you'll see
I won't take everything good and move it away
I won't be left dancing alone to songs from the past

I won't get mad when you say things are getting too hard
I won't make all of your love so scared to come through our yard
I won't scream in my head and let it isolate me
I won't be left dancing alone to songs from the past

{ mood } sore

Written by hotchiqqa at 08:26 PM. Filed under Twisted Minds.

talk to me..

if i could have, i would have. and if i wanted to, there would be no more sh!ts that both of us should have went through.

You made me smile today
You spoke with many voices
We travelled miles today
Shared expressions voiceless

love. love. love. it's just a heaven away.

but then again, i don't believe in heaven. nor in hell.

what we had.. is something. somewhere only we know.

{ music } lauren hill
{ mood } apathetic

Written by hotchiqqa at 08:44 PM. Filed under Sweet Love.

talk to me..

Tinapay and Gracie’s Goals for 2007

Grace: To have a man by the time she turns 21 “who means what he says and does it. Someone who will take risks with me, for me.” Exact date: November 11, 2007

Tina: No boyfriends until I finish Year 12 successfuly! (Kissing Not Applicable) Exact date: November 13, 2007

seven months. seven. seven. seven. we can do it, right teenuh? GOOD VIBES.

{ mood } determined

Written by hotchiqqa at 08:50 PM. Filed under Sweet Love, Self-Musing, Twisted Minds.

8 justified.

I have decided to let go of my anger and all the pain. I have unknowingly hurt others by just holding on to it. Though I know in my heart that I am not yet healed, by choosing to be free, somehow, someway, I am moving on.

I can't weep for the rest of my life! Because I wasn't born to feel pail all the time. Someday I will find the courage to let everybody know that my real purpose is to love and not to cry.

This is me, the GRACE, who chooses to grow up and move on with life.

{ music } Sparkle Me - the Buffseeds
{ mood } mature-ish

Written by hotchiqqa at 10:02 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.

talk to me..

I have decided to let go of my anger and all the pain. I have unknowingly hurt others by just holding on to it. Though I know in my heart that I am not yet healed, by choosing to be free, somehow, someway, I am moving on.

I can't weep for the rest of my life! Because I wasn't born to feel pain all the time. Someday I will find the courage to let everybody know that my real purpose is to love and not to cry.

This is me, the GRACE, who chooses to grow up and move on with life.

---

It has been an entire week.

 

Whatever has been said and done is now all part or at least under the shade of the past. All what happened leads you to a dead end with a note saying "Sometimes, you're not simply good enough." How does it feel? For the other part, Life is fair. For most, Life is unfair. Because one thing for sure, you can not, and i mean NOT, ask for everything.

Then something happens. Something that dictates you that life is fair.. or unfair.

Okay. so let's say.. it is unfair.

It's easy to be oblivious. Trying to dig a big hole of works and all that shit so you can keep telling youself "I am busy.. I won't have time to think about those ill things like heartbreaks and whatnots." For a moment, you make yourself trap in this out-of-hurt zone by keepin-yourself-busy-with-works-and-going-out-with-friends-everyday. It is easy to get absorbed with all of these.

Then there's a pause. short, or maybe a long one. P A U S E. When you're done with everything, or get tired of doing it, you pause. stop to breathe in slowly and exhale everything out. While everyone else is completing their works, going through their lives unmindful of you, you take pleasure in this momentary pause. It's the pause that leaves you wondering.

Wondering what's next...

Another list of works, maybe? Yes. Maybe that's what you'll do. make another list. to keep you busy. Shrugging off anyone who ask you if you're okay. Because you don't know. You don't have any answer for that question.. but "I am busy with a lot of things to worry pain and hurt."

Lists. Lists. It goes on. and on. and on. and on.

You will then get a feeling that they won't stop growing longer, or soon new ones would generate out of nowhere. OR You won't stop to make them.. but then again, maybe it's the pain that's making you make these lists. You wouldn't know.

You pause. Wonder.. and you realize, you won't run out of them. The List.. and the pain.

But i grew out of it. And I am okay.

{ music } Today Has Been Okay
{ mood } content

Written by hotchiqqa at 05:04 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.

talk to me..