Entries for September, 2007

We spent some time together. Spent some time just talking about who we are. And we both know there's nothing like you and i.

We spent some time together drinking. Spent some time thinking about our deep shit problems, and laugh it off at the same time. And we both know there's nothing like you and i.

We spent some time together crying. Spent some time together trying to live these lives we kept trying to get off but we always find ourselves back to where we belong. No, not back to each others arms, as we hope it would be since there's nothing like you and i.

We spent some time together.. Thinking we would be together. But at the end of the day, as time gets to its closing, we are not even an inch closer. Should have we known that there's nothing like you and i, we'd take a little time longer with each other.

We end up asking each other, "Why do we even try?" 

{ music } Water Runs Dry - BoyzIIMen
{ mood } discontent

Written by hotchiqqa at 11:42 AM.

talk to me..

"sometimes you can't stop yourself from hoping for yesterday to come back...

..especially when yesterday was the only future you ever wanted and needed from the start."

My blue pop world has always been what I have wanted. 

{ mood } embarrassed

Written by hotchiqqa at 01:55 PM.

talk to me..

Here I go again, trying to look for you.

And... and... there goes my heart again... bleeding.

{ music } Heart of Mine - Boz Scaggs
{ mood } nostalgic

Written by hotchiqqa at 10:20 PM.

talk to me..

(Posted in my friendster bulletin, as well.) Who's that person on your mind right now? Base your answers to the questions that follow on him/her.

1. Is he/she your friend in friendster?
~* ha! yes.

2. Where did you meet?
~* mall. hmmm.

3. Why?
~* date.

4. What song makes you remember him/her?
~* gold digger. seriously.

5. Why?
~* the dance moves pre. its all in the moves. hahaha.

6. Is his/her height okay?
~* yes.

7.Does he/she sing well?
~* hmm cant remember much. but i think na enjoy nya ung videoke one time. LOL.

8. What about dancing?
~* pwede na. nakita ko nga kay... osheet. hay.

9. Does he/she have a celebrity look- alike?
~* danny duquet! LOL

10. Are you close to each other?
~* not anymore

11. Have you seen him/her get angry?
~* yeah. cursed me to hell. lol

12. Have you seen him/her smile?
~* lately, nah. i wish.

13. Have you seen him/her cry?
~* saw it. sana hinde na sya cry ngayon

14. What's his/her favorite food?
~* raw foods. lol.

15. Why?
~* mahilig sa chinese foods. inshik ata.
lol.

16. Why did you choose him/her for this survey?
~* followed the instructions. dehr.

17. Has he/she made you cry?
~* oh men. yea

18. Have you made him/her cry?
~* hehehe oo.

19. Is he/she the reason why most of the time, you're caught smiling alone?
~* some times.

20. Do you miss him/her?
~* i do.

21. Really?
~* i miss you.

22. Why?
~* because its been so long.

23. When did you last see him/her?
~* 2006.

24. Where?
~* bar.

25. Are you regretting that you've known him/her?
~* yes.

{ music } Where Do We Go From Here - Mat Kearney
{ mood } sorry

Written by hotchiqqa at 09:08 PM. Filed under Sweet Love, Self-Musing.

talk to me..

i wish had less sense in my brain

so i can slash my wrist and forget about you..

..forget about us.

Lost in sorrow and confusion. Nothing is clear. Where do i go from here? I am putting myself down.. again and again and again.  I need my support system. Calling my happy people and my one true love, empoy. Where the fuck are you?

Man. ang aga aga pa para sa PPMS. NAMAN. Nakakainis na ah. This is so recurrent. tiring. exhausting. and yesssss... irritating.

Ggggrrrraaaaccceeeeee!!! ANU BA.  

{ music } Pure Shores - All Saints
{ mood } crappy

Written by hotchiqqa at 08:55 PM.

talk to me..

Hahahaha. Blank season for Grace. Yummy.. or not? Let's see on Friday, if this continues...

I hope Friday gives me a surprise.

Hmmm. Let's talk about music.. "It's Britney, bitch!" hehehe. The best intro talaga. Okay naman yung kanta nya na yon. Wala na ko pakelam sa dance moves nya. Keber. And lately, I've been so into Oldies/Classic music. Mga tipong pang-videoke. LOL.


Sabay, mga new wave din. Hehehehe.


Para masaya.. anu mga trip nyo na oldies and new wave songs? Hehehehe. Para madownload ko nga din. =D

{ music } No You Hang Up - Shane Ward
{ mood } nothing

Written by hotchiqqa at 08:36 PM. Filed under Twisted Minds.

2 justified.

The rain is falling on my window pane
but we are hiding in a safer place,
under covers staying safe and warm,
you give me feelings that i adore. 

- Bubbly, Colbie Caillat

Grace, please, assert yourself...

Grace: I miss you... how's that?

Hay I don't want to be old enough and be lonely, thinking I should have tried....

It is utterly obvious that there are choices ahead in our life that could change us, mold us to a better person. Unfortunately, there are no ready answers available for us, no easy way in any life harassments we face that can lead us to where we have to go, what we should do and be.

But good for us, that centuries of wisdom, from old and young mouths and minds.. the best way to get through life is just to listen to your heart. This is an undisputed fact.

Or you can question me.. rather, my heart.. and yours as well.

Boy, i miss you... how's that?

{ music } Bubbly - Colbie Caillat
{ mood } complacent

Written by hotchiqqa at 10:49 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.

talk to me..

independence
and booze
and fucked up thoughts
and empty words
and cold impassivity
and frigidness
and
and
and....

i've been here.

Here, doing the only things that i love. hurting.. dying..

 

 

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
And we can hang out heads down
As we skip the goodbyes

And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there..

{ music } The Reason Why - Rachel Yamagata
{ mood } complacent

Written by hotchiqqa at 08:43 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.

talk to me..

i have been called a distraction.. in someone else's life.

i have been wanted for a lifetime by someone i never thought would want me.. even for a second.

but i also have been lied to, denied, and put down. and i would trade any dull, boring sundays to those moments that caused me disgusting memoirs i can't find ways to cease playing in my head. i was mistreated, but i leave it.

just.
like.
that.

they ain't got anything on me. really, nah-nah-nah----nothing.


O k a y. This is putting me down.. Ugh. I am an undeserved gift. I can not appreciate that i am a gift at all. Because it's just that i am more obsessed with the fact that i am something not deserving of and by anyone. With just an empty plastic cup on my hand, i tried to discreetly release my frustrations and anger that i initially felt when i heard it, by crushing it in between my fingers and poking myself with sharp ends. bakit ba naman kasi ako nakikinig sa usapan ng ibang tao?

Don't be surprised if i collapse in your arms when i tell you this in person. I can not be still and accept it. I am serious.

I have a new student, Summer. 2 and a half years old. She's been very curious in her new environment that she just absorbs anything that she sees, hears, touches, and yes, even tastes. No good or bad concept yet. Everything is just for her exploration and learning. Absorbent Mind. Unconsciously.

And I wish i can be just like her. Taking in everything, and feeling nothing but just learning. Knowing everything, may be for my own advantage or not, i wouldn't be emotionally affected.

And now i think about that phrase i heard.. "Grace is an undeserved favor." Nobody deserves it, but it's just there. Offered unconditionally to anybody who wants to take it.

Even when you don't deserve it.

Even when you don't deserve me at all.

I am here.

{ music } I Don't Ever Gonna Figure It Out - Elliott Smith
{ mood } full

Written by hotchiqqa at 09:03 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.

2 justified.

I hate you..

You have stolen my heart.

I really don't hate you. Not at all. I love you. Thank you my dude. =D

{ music } Dreams - Deepdish
{ mood } indescribable

Written by hotchiqqa at 05:32 AM. Filed under Sweet Love.

talk to me..