Entries for November, 2007
What about him?
Well, I guess he has some growing up yet to do.
Grow up.. even just a little. Be true to your word that you were willing to take risks. It doesn't have to be with me or for me. Just fucking take risks. That's not hard to do when you're ready and mature enough. Come on boy, it would be the sanest thing you will do for the longest time. Trust me, it is.
{ music } Rooftiops - Lost Prophets
{ mood } angry
Written by hotchiqqa at 11:47 AM. Filed under Self-Musing.
Im not being insomniac-ish today because of the accident... or because my mind is overactive.. or because of my depression.. or anything else with what Wiki says about insomnia.
I am still up... because... I'm just catching up with a former love. Hahahaha. if you can call it that.. Yes, it's nice to talk to people like them in times like these.. they take you back to those happy days, yes a little nostalgic, but in a good way. Great way, might I say. And I love it. It puts me back to this comforting feeling.. that I am in a place that I know very well.. that I am talking to a person that I knew very well, and who knows me enough to not feel awkward about talking different things from the past.
The best part, we don't argue. We don't need to argue. We couldn't care less if there are things to fight about. We Just Talk. Talk... and more Talk. and Smile.
Nothing serious.. but everything is real. True.
Abah, can this be true? Insomnia can be a truth serum? LOL.. weird. I think I'm sleepy now.. Brain is talking nonsense now. Thank you.
{ music } Fade - Hed Kandi
{ mood } amused
Written by hotchiqqa at 03:59 AM. Filed under Twisted Minds.
Life.
The incident.
I hope it was just a theatric play.. a dramatic one, with an end.
So I would know what right lines to say... or how to act in every page that turns.
And at least I would know how this would end. Yet, the best thing about it is that it would end.
But of course, Life is bigger than a theatric play.
What a traumatic act life is.
{ music } Back Where I Was - The Hereafter
{ mood } depressed
Written by hotchiqqa at 10:52 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
So lost inside my head and i feel crazy.
I want to be heard. Listen to me.
I am astray on this thin wire.
Afraid of a bullet, but feels satisfaction with the thought of death.
Everything happens at night..
..the pain, the thoughts, the fear..
Emotionally challenged, that's what it is.
I am fake at all aspects of my personality.
Some things are clear. It has been easier with black and white sides. Thinking and saying bad things about others - wrong. Standing up for your right - good.
For me, there are a million things throughout the day that are gray. It's hard.
But it's just that, it's hard to know what is important.
{ music } brakes
{ mood } aggravated
Written by hotchiqqa at 05:43 PM.
We grow and change by confronting and dealing with difficulties. Any solution we have forged will last for awhile and then begin to wane, and you have to begin the process again. I hate problem solving. I hate it like Jorge hates studying.
Anger
I don't usually like Mondays. People go crazy during Mondays. Everywhere I look, it seems like I am in a zoo. But I don't like Sundays more. Because it would mean that soon it's going to be Monday again. Then today, I thought I love Tuesday.. I like it today. But then I had migraine. I like Tuesday, but rush of bad news about two friends came. I love Tuesday, but then i lost about 300 bucks. I am upset and angry. Once, a parent and teacher said that children must be taught not to express anger inappropriately.
And expressing anger appropriately... should be how? I am angry. From my point, voicing it out doesn't make me feel any better... Sabi ko na nga ba eh, as for my situation, Alcohol is the ONLY answer. Sorry naman po.. alcoholic lang talaga.
Can you please fastforward it to Friday na?
{ mood } angry
Written by hotchiqqa at 08:20 PM.
If there is one mistake in my whole lifetime that i can tolerate over and over, it would be when i am kind to those who are undeserved.
Two hours ago, i chose to not make that mistake one more time.
A shot of mockery to you my friend. Cheers.
Written by hotchiqqa at 10:27 PM.
