/ Of Craziness and Simplicity.../

Entries for January, 2008

January 7, 2008

nightmare

i dreamt of him.. he was screaming with joy that he's going to have a baby! CRAP MAN! i didnt know i would get hurt that much!

fuck talaga.

then he got into a car with his girl, who's pregnant (in my dreams lang ah!) *sigh*.. then after 3 minutes the car got on fire, i was walking away. Even when i wanted them to burn to hell, i ran up to the car, tried to get the girl out of the car.. another friend of mine, tried to get him out of the other side naman.. and he looked at me. He looked at me with eyes asking me why I am doing this for him. And I looked back at him. And through my eyes I answered him back, "eh kasi gusto ko masaya ka, even when it means i'm not part of it."

Eh sa mabait daw ako sabi ni Kix eh. And I don't want to be that bait anymore.

{ music } be be your love
{ mood } annoyed

Written by hotchiqqa at 01:31 AM.

talk to me..

January 7, 2008

Half meant / Half joked

For a long time in my life, i was not really honest with someone. But last night, I was brave enough to tell him what I have been meaning to say for the last couple of years... I wanted him to know that I knew why... Because I was not enough.

And that's okay, because it was not my fault that he asked too much. I gave my best yet, my best was not good enough for him. (parang song lang...haha). My only fault was that I didn't know. If I knew, maybe I could have done something differently.

Yet at this moment, I knew all that has reasons. Reasons him and I could only understand.

It's part of the past. Ours was part of my life that has been ended. And all of that will remain as a past.

{ music } You and Me Song - The Wannadies
{ mood } distressed

Written by hotchiqqa at 06:08 PM.

talk to me..

January 14, 2008

My Truth Serum.

I don't need any truth drugs like what Russian secret services used back in the days... or until now, I really don't care.

Because I just need an alcohol for anyone to get me talking on what I really feel. And i mean it, what I REALLY REALLY FEEL.

{ music } I'll be Okay - Amanda Marshall
{ mood } ashamed

Written by hotchiqqa at 07:15 PM.

talk to me..

January 26, 2008

Playing my part as a blogger

I haven't been quite blogging lately.

Because I can prove that I have been senseless for the past few days... make it minutes or by the second.

For example, I change my mind more often than not. A minute ago, I wanted to tell you things about my first month of 2008, then i decided not to anymore. Senseless = me.

In short, I just want you to know that I am still alive. Breathing... and always been coping. As for the moment, I just played my part as a blogger.