Entries for March, 2008

Angel of mercy
How did you find me?
Where did you read my story?
Pulled from the papers
Desperate and hardened
seeking a momentary fix

All I wanted to say
All I wanted to do
Is fall apart now
All I wanted to feel
I wanted to love
Its all my fault now
A Tradegy I fear

Before just the daylight
Come and i stand by
Waiting to catch the quickest plane
Flying to nowhere
Is better than somewhere
That's where i've been and nothing's changed

- - - MERCY, One Republic 

Text convo... *getting depressed as I type* (yes, with tears almost falling from my eyes.) 

Me: Can you tell me something happy? Please. Nadedepress na naman ako. Anything.
Onin: Hmmm... sali ka na lang sa road to thinness. One month program...
Me: Ahahahahahahaha. I hate you. But it made me laugh.. promise. Ahahahaha. 

I thank the stars for sending me a friend as sane as you, when I can't find myself sane enough to go on with life. Seryoso.

After two hours...

Me: Onin, happy nako ulet.. Wala lang. Share ko lang. =)
Onin: Yey! 

{ music } Real by Plumb
{ mood } dorky

Written by hotchiqqa at 01:24 AM.

talk to me..

i find it so hard to put down my pride. but i did. twice. for you. thrice.

and i am trying to find my way back to you.

my only worry is if you're willing to take me back again. 

 

 

why did i have to get to that phase with you?!... naman. i don't even understand why with you pa. 

ang sarap sabihing.. "i'll race you up to our finish line." 

para tapos na. Bilisan na natin. Para tapos na.  

{ music } Hate that I love you - Neyo & Rihanna
{ mood } annoyed

Written by hotchiqqa at 02:31 PM.

talk to me..

i am feeling rather empty tonight. more than last night when i tried to compose a message to my closest friends how much i am feeling so low. no joy, not even pain.

im, uhm.. well.. just breathing.. and i am getting tired of 'just breathing'. life, keep me up with something new. is there any, for me?

if i have someone to run away with, i would have been long gone by now. yet, sad to say... really really sad.. it's only me. alone. sometimes, it's okay to be lonely. but not now.. not now for me. grace and loneliness don't quite mix well most of the time.

but yes.. it has always been only me. and i want a distraction. di ba nga sabi nila, misery likes company? .. but here i am, alone, facing life cowardly, dueling it with what's left of me..

a dream, that someday, i will win this battle without begging, or waiting, for that matter, someone to rescue me and take me away.

I am coward. But I am fighting. Empty, but fighting. Always have been fighting. Grace is a fighter.

{ music } sunrise - norah jones
{ mood } blank

Written by hotchiqqa at 08:33 PM.

talk to me..

Yes. I have finally let go of someone.

Absolutely no care for that person at all, anymore. And I don't need to tell everyone why. It's just is.

I am over it. =)

{ music } It's Only Life - Kate Voegele
{ mood } cheerful

Written by hotchiqqa at 10:48 PM.

talk to me..