Entries for April, 2008
OmyGod. Scratch that. I don't care about God. hmmm... WTF. There. I think that's more appropriate. WTF. wtf. wtf. WTF!!
Who would have thought I'd get over a slight episode attack because of him?! Yes, I'm feeling better tonight than I was some unfateful days ago. Because of E.C.!
How could I ever thank Stepehenie Meyer for writing her novel series? LOL. I am just soooooo... yes so so much in love with EDWARD CULLEN. I wish I was Bella.
Loved. And just a fiction.
I wish to be both. And I wouldn't much care if I am loved by vampires or werewolves. Naww, not zombies. The former choices will do fine. Whatever, whoever.. As long as I am loved.
Yep, I am pretty much pathetic that way these days. Boohoo Grace.
{ book } New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
{ mood } exanimate
Written by hotchiqqa at 08:39 PM. Filed under Sweet Love, Twisted Minds.
make a wish and place it in your heart. anything you want, everything you want.
do you have it? good. now believe it can come true. you never know when the next miracle's gonna come from the next smile.. the next wish come true.
but if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart mind to the possibility of it. to the certainty of it.
you just might get the thing you're wishing for.
the world is full of magic you just have to believe in it. so make your wish. do you have it?
good. now believe in it. with all your heart.
{ music } Clubbers Dance Electronic 2008
{ mood } ecstatic
Written by hotchiqqa at 06:46 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
I am an alcoholic. I got over the phase where I was in denial. There are many times that I just want to stop. Maybe I should really stop. But I don't know where to begin on how to actually quit... Because right now, that's what life means for me. Like what my friend said.. "The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be actively, drunkenly, serenely and divinely aware." or I think It was some famous writer who said that. But see? drunkenly aware. I'm on that road.
I smoke a lot. But I don't crave for it every fucking minute. I can actually go through a day without it. But I just do. And I also think I need to stop that vice. And any other kinds of smoke. Blah whatever. But you see, I still believe that maybe I should stop.
I've been seeing you more lately. And maybe I should stop.. before I get used to it too much and get addicted. It's difficult. Fighting back an addiction is hard. So no, maybe I should stop with you right now. And fast. very very fast. Before it gets out of control.
Yet what can I do? You have been one of the few positive motivating force in my life. That's enough for me to stick with this thing I have with you. Friendship.
===============================================
It may be already late. Too late to even share it. But fuck it. I dreamt of you. A couple of months ago. And you're girl was pregnant. And you were just so happy to announce it to everyone you cross paths with. And one of those was me. Unfortunately. You can't stop smiling about it. I loved your smile, so I just smiled back.
I just walked away after that. Looked back and you were parading your girl in your car.. (this is going to be a little tragic).. then your car caught fire. There was a loud bang and i saw sparks in my dream. It was both at the same time a horrible and terrific thing to watch. You burning. (see, not just tragic but I have morbid and killer thoughts as well). With the one you love.
But I started running back. Opened the door. No, I didn't feel the heat of the fire (because it was just a dream, duh).. but because I was concentrated more on my confusions why I am actually helping when I know deep inside that I want to let you die.. burn and go to hell. Yet, I helped. With all I can to get your girl out of the fire.
Your eyes. You looked straight at me. With the same confusion I have on my mind. You didn't have to say it out loud. But why the hell am I helping?.. right?.. I don't know really.. maybe I just love you that much and I am willing to sacrifice anything to let you know.. to let you feel.
Then, I woke up. the look you gave me lingered long after I have opened my eyes. It was just a dream, I finally realized it. I started to cry. Because I knew that even in my dreams that's all I can do. Sacrifice my love and let go. Secondly, I only get the chance to really show you how much you mean to me all this time. Even with the years of nothing between us.. it's all I've got and nothing at the same time.
Though I want to hurt him, still I can't. I'll choose not to, even if there's a chance. I guess my last resort is to let fate run its course. Wish to the brightest star that a little miracle can actually happen to a non-active Christian like me. A lost believer of something powerful that taught us real love.
Then... I have posted it na pala before. Stupid me. Here.
{ music } Come Together, Love Better - Marcus Wyatt & Gina Rene
{ mood } indifferent
Written by hotchiqqa at 08:56 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
Man. COPELAND. I love and hate them at the same time. LOVE. Copeland has songs that are honest, catchy, and meaningful. HATE. Their songs makes me cry. LOL..
More 'happening' entries later. I'm being the lazy girl that I am. Procrastinating is my thing, you know.
But I do have a question...
Drunken bliss moments at 4 in the morning.. are they worth the fight? or whatever you have with someone during 4 in the morning.. should memories of being 'dependently happy' be set free? forgotten?
Cause I need you
Like the dragonflies' wings need the wind
Like the orphan needs home once again
Like heaven needs more to come in
I need you here like you've always been
- PRICELESS, Copeland
{ music } Priceless - Copeland
{ mood } scared
Written by hotchiqqa at 11:25 PM. Filed under Sweet Love, Self-Musing, Twisted Minds.
Attended Spot.ph's Exclusive Bloggers tour of Trinoma's restaurants, last Friday, April 25. It was my first time to attend a Blogger's event, not just another EB, y' know. T.Janine forced me to register and confirm attendance on the website for days.. She registered like a week before me. But instead, I get to be the one invited. Ahahahaha. Sarry. But she still came along on the event. It was fun. Meeting new fun people and eating for free... how can that not be great right?
Me and Teacha Ja9
The "CLASS PIC" with Cyma's Owner. Love this place!
Certified Good Stuff
SPOT PASSES (On Monday, we'll do mugshots!)
Yours truly. Heehee. I love FIVE COWS. =D
It was ABSOLUTELY A LOT OF FUN... Certified Good Stuff for all bloggers. =D
Links LINKS Links!! (a.k.a. "the new friends"):
Azrael - Azrael's Merryland - Comic Lover/Blogger.. Loves the Gising gising. Dont know why.
Ed - Edarevalo.net - Music Lover/Blogger.. Gives away Ne-yo CDs. Ahahaha. =p
Janine - Cigarette-Girl - Just another fanatic for FREE food (like me!).. and oh yeah, Blogger! Ahaha!
Yam - Yummyfied - Wanting to be a good chef (i believe she is naman!)/Blogger
Raychel - Raycheee - Yam's friend, obviously another food lover! Not much of a Blogger daw.. Self proclaimed camwhore daw sya. Hahaha.
Jonel - Something Sweet and More and Travel-Tayo! - Travel and Food Blogger.. Photographer!! Makes great shots!!
Cecile - CecileMaris - UP Student/Blogger.. According to her page, she's a Batang Palaboy. And I call her our PASS GIRL.
Mikko - BuildTheGeek - Soon-to-be UP Student/Blogger.. Cecile's brother. The bunso in our group!
{ mood } HUNGRY
Written by hotchiqqa at 12:52 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
