Entries for July, 2008
I am passing time here in school. Killing time before I go to Marco's house for another tutorial. I missed that boy. 
Later after the session, I'd be following T.Janine and T.Ria at The Block, North Edsa for the Premiere showing of "Journey to the Center of the Earth" for FREE! Thanks to Edward who was so nice to invite and register us for that Bloggers' Event.
I have been passing time for such a long time that I get used to doing nothing and wait for the next day to do more of nothing. I am in circles, not even a spiral kind of life, but in one same routine day after day. Stuck. Stranded. Running along life without actually moving forward. Tipong jogging on the spot ba?
I am not lost, that I am sure of. I know where I am at right now. The only problem is where to go next. I don't think it's the same thing as "being lost, isn't it? The worse problem is if I'd rather wish to go forward or backward? Maybe what I really want are the things in the past to be in the future. Yeah, maybe that's really the deal that I want.
Me passing time and going round in circles in life isn't such a bad thing, unlike Juan Tamad who wishes for different things in life without doing anything. I am doing something, at least that's what I think so. I work. I socialize every now and then. I breathe. Sometimes, I go crazy and then not. In short, I live. Day by day.
I am living.
Living without knowing why. That's the problem. It's like saving up money when you don't know what it's for. Soon after, you would loose that money. I am living without a purpose. You can call me half-dead, seriously. I wish it was funny, *sigh* but it isn't. Being purposeless in life makes you feel really insignificant. Like the most useless thing in the world. Whatever it is. I am it.
{ music } Belief - Gavin DeGraw
{ mood } off
Written by hotchiqqa at 04:09 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
It sucks when people fails you or disappoints you. But you really can't blame them when you expected more from them, right?
But they suck more when they fail and disappoint you with the most irrational and senseless reasons on earth.
{ mood } disappointed
Written by hotchiqqa at 02:07 PM. Filed under Twisted Minds.
Someday, you will want me to share my world with you.
You will bow down just for my touch.
By then, I won't be intrigued by you anymore.
I'll bet my life on that.
{ music } Try - Nelly Furtado
{ mood } amused
Written by hotchiqqa at 03:23 PM. Filed under Sweet Love, Self-Musing.
I got this short creed from DivaBlogger.
Some sort of self-help. Though it's easier to do the breathing exercise
when you're about to flipped a finger on something or someone,
especially on yourself.
"Breathe in, breathe out..."(repeat several times!) Works for me. Hahaha..
The Diva’s Creed of Self Forgiveness
Say this to yourself whenever you feel depressed, sad or self pitying. This has always worked for me. This, for me, is the first step to forgiving others:
I (your name) forgive myself for being (insert negative adjectives here, e.g. stupid). I vow to learn from this experience and never let myself feel down for being (insert negative adjective here) again.
{ mood } forgiving
Written by hotchiqqa at 06:22 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
I PM'ed Peter in YM an hour back, and I sure did miss talking to this guy. I knew him since I was 14. Back those highschoolish years, we've had funny (meaning nonsense and unneccessary) nicknames for each other, and honestly I have forgotten most of it until today when he said...
Peter: hope to chat with you again next time...
Grace: we'll catch up next time..
Grace: ingat!!
Peter: =)
Peter: take care mahal..
Grace: aww. almost forgot that. you too mahal.
Peter: hehehe
Peter: bye now
Grace: bye. keep safe.
Peter: you too
It was such a little surprising and nostalgic moment back there.
Oh yeah, one nickname we gave each other was "putangina" and "tarantado." We even talked about having our kids named like that. Hahahahaha. Poor kiddos. But we've passed that "masaya-kaming-gago-kami" stage.. He obviously have changed A LOT. Pre, let's still keep in touch even when you leave for Australia, okay mahal? We better get together soon. Just like the old times. And no, I'm not talking about 831 or 14-. Hahahahaha. Ohh. Those days. I have to stop this now, I am having creepy feelings. LOL
What can I say? I have the weirdest, yet the sweetest friends around.
{ music } Chicken Dance
{ mood } geeky
Written by hotchiqqa at 07:02 PM. Filed under Twisted Minds.
I have learned to dig through the bad times to get to the good ones.Must walk in the shadows now, and remember there's always tomorrow. And I will be where I want to be.
Lows and the highs, and all those goodbyes. As hard as it gets, I know it's still amazing to be alive.
I should keep on believing that I have a beautiful life.
{ music } A Beautiful Life - LiLo
{ mood } determined
Written by hotchiqqa at 11:41 AM.
I am looking for a new layout/blog skin for my Tabulas. Just because I think the current skin is making me more depressed. I "pssst" at Google and asked him to find some for me. And these are what he gave me...
- Blogskin.com
- Createblog.com
Unfortunately, these forum sites don't cater MUCH at all for tabulas users. Poor Tabby users. Although I found a couple of REALLY really cute skins, they were only capable to bloghosts like Xanga, Livejournal and the more "popular" bloghosts online. DAYA NOH?
I would really like to have that "beetle mania" and "organizer" skin. If only I could get back my passion and knowledge on that now confusing html codes. I used to download blogskins before from the first skins page. And just change most of the codes into what I can use in Tabulas. But I am just too lazy and unwilling. Hay. I'm useless.
Good thing for Tabulas users, we have Up4Grabs (who is currently on hiatus, btw, i dont know why). Tabby users can submit and download layouts made especially just for them! Yey to Biey and the other uploaders!! Like Julie who's a little frustrated right now with the codes I gave her. LOL. Thanks Julie! You can do it!! Hanggang cheer nalang ang kaya kong gawin for you!! Hahaha...
{ mood } disappointed
Written by hotchiqqa at 03:57 PM.
1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
-- I will go out of his way and let him do what he wants. I'm not stupid enough to force myself on anybody. Reaction: hurt. But you have to bounce back up.
2. Who will you choose, the person who loves you or the person you love?
-- who loves me.
3. What's your take on same-sex marriages?
-- I'm not against it.. but you won't see me doing it, in any lifetime.
4.Are you inlove?
-- nope
5. What's your ideal lover like?
-- Someone who takes risks for me and with me.
6. loving someone or being loved by someone else?
-- Being loved.
7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
-- No.
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
-- Content Analysis.. meaning.. STALKER TIME! haha joke lang.
9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
-- yes. Life.
10. What do you want most in life?
-- free things! hahaha.
11. Is being tagged fun?
-- Steady lang.
12. Name people you cannot live without?
-- family.
13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
-- Family.
14. What do you think of the person who tagged you?
--Julie: friendly and like a lil sister.
15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
-- No brainer. Single and rich.
16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you anymore, what would you do/how would you react?
-- Be friends with him again? At least you can start over. haha. optimist?
17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
-- Keep some things to yourself. But give your best.
18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, whlo would you pick?
-- Depends on the person.
19. What type of friends do you like?
-- Real people. Trustworthy. RICH. Hahaha
20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
-- Laugh hard.
I am tagging Cigarette Girl, MerlyntheMagical, Subtlebliss, Aldrich, Barette, Anaheim, Tenthlivesss, and _Tralala
Written by hotchiqqa at 11:22 PM. Filed under Twisted Minds.
I am craving for some piece of heaven. I'll be meeting with Adler in awhile for a cup of coffee, and maybe a slice of cheesecake too.
For the past days I have been pretending and walking along with the world. And honestly, people, I wouldn't mind a pat in the back and tell me that I am the queen of my own world and I have nothing to worry about. It hurts that this kind of depression is happening. But it hurts more to pretend everything is okay, a little better each day, everyday for the rest of my life. Worst part of it is going through it alone.
And with all of that emotions hanging over me, I choose to walk away and be by myself. Everybody is talking about how I can cope, but nobody is telling me why I am like this in the first place. Let us get to the root, and solve it from there.
I need a long term medication for this insanity.
And sooner or later, I will look back and see that I never knew what happened in between. Just the beginning and the end of the pain. And I wouldn't mind that at all. Happy thought, actually.
{ mood } cold
Written by hotchiqqa at 02:28 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
The western skies was on fire. Everything on the ground was golden in color. It's as if we were all living in a rich orange colored world. Maybe it was all for me.
And then the sky cried. It cried with me. It didn't stop. It wouldn't stop. The sky and I will pull an all nighter together. Comforting.
Together we will shout to the world...
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid sweet talk newspaper word cut outs
Speak no feeling no I don't believe you
You don't care a bit
Can you feel the cold tonight? It's setting in. The darkness falls, I am letting go. And the thought of letting go and giving up makes me feel fine.
{ mood } hiding
Written by hotchiqqa at 08:10 PM.
I saw this book while going through a bookstore about a month or two ago. I didnt get to read it but I was able to find a video streaming online for Randy Pausch's last lecture on achieving his childhood dreams. Randy Pausch was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. He gave his last lecture last September 2007 and became a phenomenon across the world. He passed away yesterday, Friday, July 25, 2007.
What I like best from his lecture are these words...
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
You can visit the official website of the book at http://thelastlecture.com
For more interviews with Randy Pausch, check out http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/LastLecture/
{ mood } impressed
Written by hotchiqqa at 03:57 PM. Filed under Twisted Minds.
Analytical Thinkers are reserved, quiet persons. They like to get to
the bottom of things - curiosity is one of their strongest motives.
They want to know what holds the world together deep down inside. They
do not really need much more to be happy because they are modest
persons. Many mathematicians, philosophers and scientists belong to
this type. Analytical Thinkers loathe contradictions and illogicalness;
with their sharp intellect, they quickly and comprehensively grasp
patterns, principles and structures. They are particularly interested
in the fundamental nature of things and theoretical findings; for them,
it is not necessarily a question of translating these into practical
acts or in sharing their considerations with others. Analytical
Thinkers like to work alone; their ability to concentrate is more
marked than that of all other personality types. They are open for and
interested in new information.
Analytical
Thinkers have little interest in everyday concerns - they are always a
little like an “absent-minded professor” whose home and workplace are
chaotic and who only concerns himself with banalities such as bodily
needs when it becomes absolutely unavoidable. The acknowledgement of
their work by others does not play a great role for them; in
general,they are quite independent of social relationships and very
self-reliant. Analytical Thinkers therefore often give others the
impression that they are arrogant or snobby - especially because they
do not hesitate to speak their mind with their often harsh (even if
justified) criticism and their imperturbable self-confidence.
Incompetent contemporaries do not have it easy with them. But whoever
succeeds in winning their respect and interest has a witty and very
intelligent person to talk to. A partner who amazes one with his
excellent powers of observation and his very dry humour.
It
takes some time before Analytical Thinkers make friends, but then they
are mostly friends for life. They only need very few people around
them. Their most important ability is to be a match for them and thus
give them inspiration. Constant social obligations quickly get on their
nerves; they need a lot of time alone and often withdraw from others.
Their partner must respect this and understand that this is not due to
the lack of affection. Once they have decided in favour of a person,
Analytical Thinkers are loyal and reliable partners. However, one
cannot expect romance and effusive expressions of feelings from them
and they will definitely forget their wedding anniversary. But they are
always up to a night spent with stimulating discussions and a good
glass of wine!
Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, theoretical,
logical, spontaneous, rational, analytical, intellectual, sceptical,
pensive, critical, quiet, precise, independent, creative, inventive,
abstract, eccentric, curious, reserved, self-involved, imaginative,
unsociable, determined, modest, careful, incommunicative, witty
These subjects could interest you
literature, science fiction, philosophy, psychology, mathematics, Internet, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, music, writing, strategy games, politics
If you want to get to know your personality type, based on a personality test by Carl Jung, check out this page:
{ music } The Funeral - Band of Heroes
Written by hotchiqqa at 07:40 AM.
I was looking through my older albums posted over the years in multiply, yes yes, reminiscing, and it made me crave for a cold cold glass of beer. Just like old times.
Feeling nostalgic, I made a list in my mind the things that I am missing at this present moment. But I thought that it's a far better idea to make a photo blog about it. I will post a series of photo blogs later.
But for now, im going to take a walk with my friend, eat isaw, and make some more memories. =)
Written by hotchiqqa at 06:01 PM. Filed under Self-Musing.
